"Allowing God to protect you from forming close, private relationships with the opposite sex until He provides your mate."
God's Plan for Emotional Intimacy
God designed commitment to lead to emotional intimacy, so intimacy should not be encouraged before a lifelong commitment has been made.
God designed commitment to provide protection, so putting intimacy before commitment leads to brokenness.
The World's Plan for Emotional Intimacy
Try Before You Buy! = encourages emotional intimacy without any kind of commitment.
This results in broken hearts, damaged views of relationships, and emotional scars -- not only for you but for the other people involved.
What is Involved in Emotional Intimacy?
"Intimacy is not just about physical encounters. When someone shares inner feelings, secret desires, flirts, flatters, or even places himself or herself in a compromising situation, he or she is being intimate. All forms of intimacy should be reserved for the marital relationship, or else you are taking something that belongs to your future spouse and giving it away to someone else."
Dr. Laura Schlessinger
What Activities Develop Emotional Intimacy?
Time spent alone with someone of the opposite gender (whether physically or "virtually")
Writing notes or letters
Email, IM, or text messages
Telephone conversations
Sharing matters of the heart (dreams, goals, secrets, desires)
Promising What You Cannot Righteously Fulfill
If you encourage someone's emotions or expectations when you cannot or do not intend to righteously satisfy them, then you are wronging that person.
Showing "Proper Reserve"
Definition:
"Taking responsibility for how another person may respond to the attention you are giving to him or her."
Restraining your freedom in words or actions.
Using caution in personal behavior.
Keeping special aspects of yourself in reserve for future use.
Questions to Consider
What does a proper relationship between boys/girls & men/women look like?
What are the proper personal boundaries for me to set in these relationships?
How can I learn to graciously stand up for God's standards of right and wrong in relationships (especially when others are pressuring me)?
Practical Guidelines
Every relationship is an opportunity to model Christ's love.
Treat someone of the opposite sex as a brother or sister in Christ.
Beyond that, treat everyone as someone else's future spouse.
Create a Positive Focus
Instead of focusing on "Rules & Regs," place all your hopes and expectations in God's hands and then live wholeheartedly for Him.
See the unmarried years as a gift:
Flexibility of time/energy/resources
Freedom from distraction/misuse
Single-minded focus
Practical Steps to Keeping Your Emotions Pure
Strengthen your relationship with Christ and your parents.
Maintain open communication.
Trust your parents' guidance and insights.
Keep your emotions under "parental supervision."
Develop character discernment.
Learn emotional self-control.
Be Asleep
Sons: Adam slept until God provided Eve as his companion.
Daughters: Sleeping Beauty slept until the prince's kiss.
"No one warns young people to follow Adam's example. He waited until God saw his need. Then God made Adam sleep, prepared his mate for him, and brought her to him. We need more of this being asleep in the will of God. Then we can receive what He brings us in His own time, if at all."
Jim Elliot
