Between Modesty and Marriage:
Modesty of Appearance
Modesty of Attire and Behavior
What is External Modesty?
Definition:
"Outward dress and behavior which reveal an inner reverence for Christ."
God gives you special power when you exercise modesty
Modesty is possible only if you truly love God and want to please Him (rather than simply pleasing parents or others).
Modesty requires trusting God, knowing He has the details of your life under control in His sovereign plan.
If you protect your reputation, then your value as a person increases.
Principles of External Modesty
The power of modesty cannot be limited simply to how you dress
Modesty allows you to control where you go, when you go, and how you are treated by others.
A person who is confident in God's plan and care finds no need to cover up insecurity with immodest behavior.
When you know, love, and trust God, you will be able to obey Him in the way you dress because you realize that everything in His plan is for the purpose of blessing you.
Immodesty creates strong physical and emotional responses in those around you, and this is not what God desires
Your attire and behavior affect others. It is not simply a matter of fashion — it can be a sin if it causes someone else to stumble.
Immodesty can arouse curiosity and attract attention from others, but it is the modest person that others really desire.
The appeal of immodesty is not in what is seen but in what is unseen
Showing a little is more tempting than showing a lot.
Immodesty sends an open invitation for others to take advantage of you.
No matter how much attention immodesty brings, it can never match the long-term rewards of modesty.
Modesty cannot be reduced to a set of rules or regulations
Modesty involves being sensitive to the leading of the Holy Spirit in your life.
Standards will differ from family to family because of the specific plans God has for each family and individual.
Each family is accountable to God. We should treat others graciously, knowing that God is at work in their lives.
Connections Between Internal & External Modesty
If you have the proper heart attitude, you will be more likely to dress appropriately. And if you dress appropriately, you will be more likely to act appropriately.
It may be possible to discern the attitude of a person's heart by observing his or her level of "external modesty."
Culturally Acceptable Immodesty?
A worldly society calls immodest or flirtatious behavior acceptable.
Christians can become desensitized to God's standards of right and wrong.
Cultivate a proper reserve in relationships with the opposite sex.
Listen to Your Conscience
As Christians, we have the freedom to dress and act in any way that is not contrary to biblical teachings.
However, we should never use that freedom if it will cause another person to stumble.
We must be sensitive to the standards of others while remaining sensitive to God's leading in our own lives.
Commission the Fathers
Fathers are the guardians, protectors, and gatekeepers for modesty in the family.
"God, please give us the courage to lead, the wisdom to provide appropriate guidelines for our family, and the self-sacrificing attitude required in order to assume the role of family guardian."
Take some time now to do the Family Activity Worksheet included in the notes for this session.
